Inclusiveness Training
A parent of two students who have attended Living Wisdom School since kindergarten, Eric Munro talks about inclusiveness training and other techniques used to teach skills for inner happiness and positive interpersonal relationships. (The article below was adapte from the video.)
Inclusiveness Training at LWS
by Eric Munro, parent of two LWS students
I sat by a campfire at Living Wisdom School's annual family campout and watched my eldest son Zachary play.
Zachary, now an eighth grader, was giving the younger kids piggyback rides. An adult sitting next to me remarked how impressed he'd been by the way Zachary had played Frisbee with the children earlier. He said, "Zachary made sure all the kids got a chance to play. It was quite remarkable."
While I naturally experienced some parental pride, I primarily felt a deep appreciation for the school. While I could be forgiven for feeling that Zachary's expansive spirit was due to my parenting skills, in fact, I knew that it was most powerfully influenced by his eight years at LWS.
In fact, one of the profoundest effects that LWS has had on our two sons is how it encourages their sense of inclusiveness.
Starting in kindergarten, the children learn to play and work together. In the classroom, they learn to include others, and not exclude anyone who wants to play. The best part is that these "rules" aren't enforced as rigid principles to be obeyed under threat of punishment. Rather, the teachers help the children learn how they themselves are happier when they include others.
One of the LWS school rules is: "Practice Kindness, be a loving friend, and use your will to create good energy."
On the playground, the key rule is: "You can't say, 'You can't play.'"
Affirming these "rules" in the classroom is only a first step. It's how the teachers model these behaviors and help the children direct their activities in the playground, that makes the difference.
I've recently been volunteering to help during snack and lunch breaks at the school. I had heard a great deal about the inclusiveness and conflict resolution training that the children receive at LWS. But seeing it firsthand was inspiring. At first sight, it can seem very subtle, yet it has a powerful impact on the child, especially those who've been raised in this atmosphere from 5 to 13.
At a snack period, two kindergarten girls had a tiff and the teacher, Julia, saw that one of the girls was crying. She sent the other kids to be with another teacher, then spent 10 minutes with the girls, going through a conflict resolution.
Julia had the girls take turns speaking about what happened and how they felt. She made sure that they looked into each other's eyes. Then she asked them, "What is another way you could play with this toy that would make you both happy?"
The girls talked about it and came up with a plan for sharing the toy. Julia then said, "Good! Next time, let's do that."
Later that day, I went to a nearby library where and saw small children playing outside. I overheard some of the kids arguing, and one child crying. The teacher walked over and said, "Be nice to your friends," and walked away.
I thought, "Wow! What a difference compared to what the LWS kids receive." And it struck me what a real difference it would make for their development, their personalities, and the people they would ultimately become.
No amount of training in inclusiveness or conflict resolution will turn a person into a saint. But based on my experience as a child, an adult, and a parent, I'm struck by how much more empathy a child will have for others, and how much more skillfully he or she will be able to relate to others, after receiving the active guidance of the teachers at LWS.
In my role as a parent, and now a teacher, I've heard visitors and new parents remark, "There's such a strong feeling of camaraderie between the kids."
One sees it routinely on the playground, particularly among the children who've been at LWS from an early age - whether it's an older child lifting a younger one to shoot a basket, or the older kids giving the younger kids extra "lives" so they won't be knocked out of a ballgame too soon.
I recently overheard fourth-graders Shuba and Sam organizing a "theatre play" at lunchtime, surrounded by a group of classmates. Shuba said, "This is how we can include everyone." Another "wow moment," one of countless such moments at LWS.
My first wow moment occurred when my eldest son was in second grade and his brother was in kindergarten. At the end of the year, my wife had them make thank-you cards for their teachers. She suggested they say something they were thankful for. Zachary thought a bit and then dictated, "Thank you, Barbara, for helping us work out our problems on the playground." My younger son dictated the same message. I was stunned - at a daycare camp the summer before, my son had gotten into fights on the playground, and the teachers had made him sit on the bench during lunch as punishment.
As a parent, I know how much energy it takes to help kids "work out their problems." It's easier to ignore them, or to tell the kids to stop fighting, or order them to share and be nice.
But what a lost opportunity. Fortunately, the teachers at LWS are committed not merely to changing behaviors but to helping children develop more expansive awareness. And they're able to do it day in and day out, because the teacher-student ratio is sufficiently low to allow it.
I've heard parents comment, "This kind of schooling won't make a child strong enough. It's too nice." They've sent their children to a school where they believe they'll become "tough" and able to deal with "real life."
In view of my experience as a LWS parent, I have to think: What a misguided, tragic misconception about guiding a child's life.
What parents don't realize is that the ability to "play nice" takes great character and inner strength. It is far easier to retreat into selfish reactions than to extend oneself and see the other person's point of view.
The inclusiveness training at LWS makes a child strong, with the ability to take positive action in the face of upset and negative emotions. It prepares them, in fact, to be successful in life.
In the workforce, the most successful people are those who can keep working positively despite upsets; who can work well with others, and can motivate others to work well together. The children at LWS begin learning these lessons actively at age 5! Thus, they become a natural part of who they are, and how they act.
Rather than becoming weak, these children acquire vital personal and interpersonal strengths that give them a "competitive edge" over children who receive only a traditional, academically focused education in a "tough" environment.
Inclusiveness training is only one of many techniques that help the students develop strengths. A partial list includes:
Energization exercises accompanied by positive affirmations: "I am positive! Energetic! Enthusiastic!" and so on.
"Confidence stances" before their classmates (for younger grades).
"Rocks in the basket."
Learning the school rules and discussing them in class.
Meditation.
Circle time, which includes chanting.
Ongoing group projects in the classroom.
Presenting projects before the class.
The annual school theater production - a professional-quality event in which every student in the school has a part.
Camping trips (middle school).
Playground inclusiveness guidance.
The End of the Year Quality Speeches. (Each student receives an award for "quality" that they have worked on during the year.)
And, of course, the most important ingredient: Teachers who are worthy role models.
Each of these "techniques," continued over time, has a profound impact on the child.
When I reflect on how grateful I am that my kids are able to attend LWS, I confess to feeling a little bit envious. I would have had a happier childhood, been happier as an adult, and better able to meet life's challenges, if I had gone to LWS.
I am convinced that any child who could foresee his or her life as it would unfold after their school years, would insist that his/her parents send them to LWS.
I believe that enrolling your child in LWS is the finest gift you could give them, for their entire life.
